Live action movies

What a boring world we live in! No fantasy, no imagination, just stupid copies and remakes with remakes that look like the delirium of a drug addict who has doped up on dope and died. This is exactly the type of addict that Disney Studios is today. Gone are the distant past and will never return again the days when children watched the adventures of Winnie the Pooh, Darkwing Duck, Aladdin and, of course, Chip and Dale, two rescue chipmunks. I still remember their funny adventures in the 80s, when the USSR was still alive and we were all able to watch Disney animated series. However, those days have long since died out. It started with Tron: Legacy, which was supposed to be a sequel to the 1982 film, but alas, it turned out to be a prequel to Star Wars: Rise of the Force: yes, literally all those script moves that Caitlin Kennedy used in her Star Wars, were worked out even earlier in Tron: Legacy. And then the studio was already overwhelmed by a whole wave of remakes and remakes, which actually turned the once magical castle of fairy tales into a brothel filled with ugly and ugly prostitutes. “Home Alone” 2021, “Aladdin”, “The Lion King” - these are just the most high-profile films that stupid and unimaginative movie bosses have distorted, trying to replace cartoons with 3D characters, chromakey and stupid special effects. And now - a new nonsense from the Disney bosses, another rape of our childhood: “Chip 'n Dale: Rescue rangers” or, more precisely, an attempt to bypass “Roger Rabbit” and “Looney Tunes” in the style of “Dumb and Dumber.”

What first upset me was that two friends, the main characters, quarreled. No, they quarreled in the series, but it was a typical childhood weakness: they quarreled and made up. But here the authors decided to outdo themselves and made Dale such a complete loser and idiot, and Chip was completely removed from the ranks of the actors and made an insurance agent, and even an egoist. It would seem like nothing, we have already seen this, and could everything be fixed? Ah, who am I kidding here! They did exactly the same with Rocky, the same good-natured guy who was intoxicated by cheese: here he turned into a real drug addict, who suffered from real withdrawal from the lack of cheese, and therefore he owed money to the mafia! And I once read a comic book about “The Rescuers,” where Rocky ended up in exactly the same situation, when Fat Cat, an arch nemesis of the Rescuers, bought all the cheese. How did Rocky deal with this? He overcame his hunger for cheese, and also made up for it by buying up all the black caviar, making Fat Cat howl like a beluga in agony. The message is quite clear: you need to be able to overcome your shortcomings and be able to respond to the enemy in the same coin. But alas, what was available to comic book creators turned out to be exorbitant for Disney’s clowns, which is why they turned a completely adequate hero into another loser. And this is nothing compared to what they did with Zipper and Gadget: I simply do not have words to explain my anger at what I felt after seeing this disgrace, which I simply do not want to comment on. I have never experienced such rape of my childhood! The complete impression is that this film was made by haters of the series, who watched it as children, were offended and decided to take revenge. However, I was wrong: the creators decided to outdo themselves and began to mock literally all the Disney characters, Cap, Marvel and others.

Take for example the main villain: we have Peter Pan, who here turned into another oligarch villain, with a gold chain around his neck and an unshaven face. It is he who kidnaps and disfigures the heroes of other animated series. Why does he do this? Because here we are not talking about the character, but about the actor: Bobby Driscoll, who played the role of Peter in the cartoon, was once a Disney favorite, but as Bobby grew older, he fell to the very bottom: constant humiliation at school, failures in the film business, addiction to alcohol and drugs - all this brought him to the grave at the age of 31. In fact, Bobby on his deathbed could have said, "Disney threw me out like an outdated candy wrapper when I grew up!" It would seem ironic, but when you see how Disney mocks Peter, turning him into a villain offended by everyone a la Professor Fuffelshmirtz, you just wanted to smack the director and the producer in the face for such mockery. Unconvincing, gentlemen, too unconvincing: each villain has his own motivation for why he became like this, and not resentment towards Uncle Ben for not giving you beer because you are still small. The problem could be solved by giving Peter a new appearance, but where would that be? No, it would be better if we turn one of my favorite childhood heroes into a flat villain, offended by the whole world, and at the same time make fun of a long-dead actor! Thank you, Disney, for another "gift", you rapist!

What about the other characters? Alas, they are here solely for extras or for nostalgia, or rather, for another mockery: Marvel characters, magic ponies, Sonic, who looks more like a freak and does not look like himself - and so on. The humor is incredibly flat, the special effects are terrible, the interaction of real characters with cartoon ones causes Spanish shame. 3D models? Oh, I beg you: I keep having Vietnam flashbacks to the Russian trash flick Kids vs. Wizards, when I look at these 3D ugly replicas. Even Roger Rabbit from the 80s was more positive than this. And the ugliest thing about this movie is another message towards SJWs in the form of a black independent woman who simply has to be strong and cool here, opposing herself to men who are by nature oppressors. Remember Catwoman from 2021's Batman? So, this is her, in all her glory. Here is exactly the same policewoman who is being framed by a cartoon eraser character. Why? Because she is a woman and he is a man, that’s all! Racism you say? No, my dears, I just no longer have the strength to watch this tolerance that is already boring to me, which has actually led this whole world into a cesspool. Why can’t we normally write a female character who won’t act like another Mary Sue, won’t look at men as sexual enemies, and will have a natural skin color? Because then you will simply be branded a racist and sexual oppressor, left without a job and with a ton of dogs hanging around your neck in the form of accusations of attempted rape or something else. This is exactly how all these SJWs work, replacing the fight for social justice with the fight for gender and racial equality. Do you need to show an adult film with children's characters? So deepen their characters, enhance the drama, and don’t turn them into flat dummies. But in the end, the result was not a film, but another mockery of childhood heroes. Will I watch it again? Don't make me sick! I’d better go wash my hands and watch the cartoons of my childhood again to forget this mockery. Oh, Disney, tell me, how deep can you fall? Each time it seems that the bottom has been reached, but, as Stanislavsky said, “there’s a knock from below.” Apparently, this is the fate of Disney - to fall, and fall, and fall...